Retreat to Peru


Day 39 with a Shaman

My Shaman Teacher asked me today if I had purchased my ticket for Peru. There is an advanced initiation training there in November and I feel like I am meant to be there. At this point, I don’t see how. It is expensive and I don’t make a lot. I have put it in a Sand Painting and am asking spirits for assistance. I am also fundraising so that other people can donate as well.  I am holding a strong intention and expecting mountains to move to get me there.

I told her I was trying to get the money together. She talked to me about taking steps toward it and asked what other reasons might be holding me back. She spoke as if money were not a real obstacle. Her silence after the questions required me to be ruthless in my internal inquiry. I did a quick scan and could see a fear of the unknown.

I could feel myself sitting in limbo. I had to get real. Wasn’t the real fear that I’d transform and get what I say I want? Wasn’t I really terrified of stepping into power and not being able to pretend smallness anymore? Wouldn’t I be letting go of being a student and taking full accountability for what I’ve learned? Not to say that I’d be a Teacher but I wouldn’t be able to claim that “I didn’t know.”

Peru is not the first place I’d pick to travel. I’ve had friends that have gone there and I never felt the desire. However, since starting Shaman training with my Mentor and teacher, I have felt a faint tugging. It is evident when I am talking to her about the land, mountains and people there. There is a collective consciousness that is already a higher vibration. It lends an ease to this practice and while I wouldn’t go there otherwise, I feel I must.

During my journey to the underworld, I asked if there were any contracts that were no longer valid. The contract to keep me limited came to me and I put it in the fire. I watched it burn and knew that money was only an energetic part of this contract. It would free all energy related to this limitation and I felt ready. A new contract came to me.  It was the contract to embody a new level of Love, one that I’ve never known before. I welcomed this new energy, and invited it into every cell of my body.

A black horse and magic vase came back with me as allies. The black horse reminded me of the warrior inside; fierce, bold, courageous, graceful and receptive. The vase held unlimited potential in its purest form.  Nothing can be tainted in the presence of this potential and it is bigger than fear.

Day 36 with a Shaman

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Raven is the bringer of Change. It cannot stand to see the world stagnate. When a change must occur, Raven flies swiftly in to evoke it! Although many consider raven a trickster, he is nowhere near the league of Coyote. Raven is the bringer of new things, new places, and new ideas. Raven teaches what is needed at the perfect time. When the world has become complacent, and is ready to move on, it is Raven who swoops in from his journeys to show the world something new, something exciting, something different. He explores, he challenges, and he is the bringer of transformation!

Freya is a shaman Goddess who is able to travel in the different realms by using her magical cloak to shape shift into a bird. She also has the power to transform other people into animals. Freya often had a cloak of feathers that enabled her to fly in the form of a raven. As a fertility Goddess she is linked to the full moon.

When I began working with a Shaman as a healer, I had a dream one night that didn’t feel like a dream at all. I was dreaming that I was sleeping and woke within the dream to a scratching noise. I looked to the left of my bed where the window was. In waking state, it was covered but in this dream it was clear. I saw a huge black face with dark piercing eyes. It was a Raven and it was trying to get in. It wanted to be closer to me. Its stare burned into the deepest parts of me. It knew everything about me and I squirmed at the thought. I wanted to look away but couldn’t.

Then, its eyes changed into human eyes. It was part Raven, part man and it was coming for me. It began opening the window with huge talons, calmly, patiently, and fiercely. Even if it took a life time, he would tenaciously keep coming.  I knew he/it wasn’t going to stop. What I didn’t know was if it was dangerous or just intense. Remembering Edgar Allen Poe, I wanted to run. Did it want to kill me, harm me, or join me? Perhaps it wanted to give me a message? Regardless of the Raven’s intent, I was petrified by its sheer power.

I couldn’t take it. I tried to run, but my limbs were frozen. I tried to cry, but my voice was muffled. I willed myself to awaken from the dream inside my dream. I woke up screaming, fighting, whimpering, and trembling. I was terrified. My partner wrapped his arms around me, rocked me and assured me I was safe. Although I felt protected, I could still feel the presence of the Raven that crossed over into my world forever.

This morning as I was leaving my house, I heard a sound, like someone saying, “Hey over here, pay attention!” It was not quite a human voice but conveyed intelligence beyond any animal. I’ve heard that the voice of a being carries its essence. This essence was familiar and haunting…a ghost from a dream.  I looked up to see two Ravens in the tree above me. They were looking at me, but nonchalantly talking amongst themselves. I watched in awe, feeling honored and blessed. It seemed like they bestowed me with great fortune by just existing within close proximity. I sensed the intimate connection with them, the filament of light reaching from my heart to them and remembered why I am here. Thank you ,Raven.

A Goddess


Autumn's Life

I found this on Facebook and had to share:

A goddess is a woman who emerges from deep within herself. She is a woman who has honestly explored her darkness and learned to celebrate her light. She is a woman who is able to fall in love with the magnificent possibilities within her. She is a woman who knows of the magic and mysterious places inside her, the sacred places that can nurture her soul and make her whole. She is a woman who radiates light. She is magnetic. She walks into a room and male and female alike feel her presence. She has power and softness at the same time. She has powerful sexual energy that’s not dependent on physical looks. She has a body that she adores and it shows by the way she comfortably lives and moves in it. She cherishes beauty, light and love. She is…

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How To Heal

This is so beautiful…really glad you shared:)


I have been prompted to ponder and study the topic of healing … a good beginning for healing … is yourself.  My words to meditate upon for the day:

“True forgiveness is a self-healing process which starts with you and gradually extends to everyone else.”

– Robert Holden

Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.

We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or…

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