Day 23 with a Shaman

Last night I had a fire ceremony to release judgments toward myself and others. I opened sacred space and set my intention to deeply connect with Great Spirit. The fire blazed when I tuned in to fire spirits and not until. It seemed as though they were waiting for me to fully embrace their gift of fire. It inspired awe when I sank beneath the surface of my habitual thoughts. It became more than just a fire; it became a sacred realm full of possibilities.

The air became charged with indescribable electricity. The wind was more than happy to join in and the fire swirled with passion ignited from the origins of my soul. I wrote my judgments out on paper and put them in the fire. The fire was not quick to consume them. I had to come to a place inside to really be ready to let go, and I felt the spirits inviting me. I breathed deeply and finally declared my willingness; the fire accepted my offering and turned it to black smoke.

I closed the circle with the hopes that I would not be tormented by any torturous thoughts, at least for the remainder of the evening. Unfortunately, this was not the case.

I was tested immediately and in the most uncomfortable way. My partner voiced his strong opinion about a few imperfections on my body, claiming that they bothered him. He went on the say; he would help me take care of fixing them. I could have seen it as a test, but I reacted instead. I felt hurt, betrayed and devastated. I cried for quite a while…then heard a soft voice suggesting I ask for help. I decided to listen. I have been working the Eagle/ Condor for a wider perspective, so I called for help. I began letting my awareness go into the Eagle. It created a space between my emotions and the stillness inside.

I then got the message to ask the Owl for guidance in healing these perceived flaws. I asked and listened intently as I heard the name of two herbs. I breathed a deep sigh, relaxed and fell asleep.

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2 thoughts on “Day 23 with a Shaman

  1. leelotchka44 says:

    I LOVE reading your blog. I always feel gifted by your honesty. And of course, a shaman HAS to be 🙂 – otherwise the effects would be really unpleasant
    Love
    Leelah

    • That means so much! It is really nice to hear such genuine feedback from someone I admire. This is definitely not a predictable path, but I am grateful about that. It leaves less room for the ego mind.
      Love,
      Misha

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